From the home office in Cheyenne, Wyoming....Top 10 reasons why your agency isn't winning enough new business. Number....
10. Your head of new business is the building's janitor.
9. You keep responding to rfps even when you know your agency is completely wrong for the work.
8. Your creative team keeps using Michael Jackson as the prototypical target consumer.
7. You spend less money marketing your agency than you do on staples and you spend less time marketing your agency than you do on picking out the color of the title page on your power point presentation.
6. Your exec team thinks your agency is in the idea business and not the "selling your clients shit" business.
5. Your agency prides itself on saying "Everyone is responsible for new business" which means no one is responsible for new business.
4. You delude yourself into thinking that new clients will come to you because of the great creative work your agency has done in the past like the average advertiser has any idea who created that print ad or tv commercial.
3. Rufus, the guy that does all of your pitches starts each presentation asking the client "Does this dress make my ass look big?"
2. When asked by a potential client if you can provide any recommendations from satisfied clients you respond, "Your Mama."
1. Your agency stinks....
Ba da boom.